


I need a̶ ̶p̶i̶l̶o̶t̶ you

by moonlightliss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Reylo References, Short One Shot, Star Wars References, Stormpilot, You might not see Ben but he's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 19:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14386020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightliss/pseuds/moonlightliss
Summary: Short One Shot after the Battle of Crait, where Poe Dameron is very troubled about his feelings for Finn...





	I need a̶ ̶p̶i̶l̶o̶t̶ you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> So this is basically my first fanfiction. I hope you like it! English is not my first language, so if you find mistakes feel free to point them out to me (:

He saw it. He saw the way Finn looked at them. The way he had looked at Rey, the way he now looked at Rose. The way he had never looked at Poe.  
And for some reason, it hurt like hell.  
They hadn’t even exchanged a glance, much less a word after the battle on Crait. No exchanged hugs, no shared glances of relief and joy even though they had, for some reason, survived again, when all the odds had been stacked against them. Poe knew that the main reason for that distance between them were the fatal wounds that Rose had received in an attempt to save Finn from certain death, but still…  
To occupy his mind otherwise, and maybe also in a defiant manner, he had approached her – the former scavenger and their new hope – Rey.  
“Hey”, he had said in his usual cheerful and sassy tone. “I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”  
She had smiled at him then, a big, wide smile which seemed to light up the room like a ray of sunlight.  
“I’m Rey.”  
“I know”, had been his smooth reply.  
Of course he knew. Everyone knew her. And besides, she had seemed to be exactly his type: strong and fierce, yet kind and beautiful. At least he had thought that was his type – until recently, when a certain Stormtrooper decided to bust him out of a First Order Stardestroyer with the main reason being that it was “the only right thing to do”.  
Whatever the case, he liked Rey, he liked her very much – but he couldn’t quite silence the little voice inside his head which kept reminding him that one of the reasons why he had been so quick to introduce himself had been to see Finn’s reaction.  
Quite frankly, he had wanted to make Finn jealous. Finn hadn’t even noticed, of course. He had been too busy fussing over Rose – which was of course perfectly reasonable, as Poe had told himself over and over again.  
The days spent on the Millennium Falcon, hiding from the First Order and floating aimlessly around in space in constant search of a planet where they would be able to regroup were long and tiresome. The Resistance had been diminished to a high extent – there were around 30 people left on the Falcon – and the spirits were low. Poe took it upon his shoulders to visit every single one of them. He made jokes, gave out hugs and tried to restore their courage.  
In former times, General Organa had been the one to restore the fighting spirit of the Resistance. However, this time she seemed content just to watch him while he went about it, and he didn’t mind. It helped to distract him from his own dark thoughts.  
Often he took Rey with him. She didn’t know anyone except Chewie, Leia, Finn and himself. Finn was still glued to Rose’s bed and refused to move even an inch, while Chewie and Leia were constantly busy looking for an inhabitable planet which could be used as a new Rebel base. Rey often felt restless just sitting around doing nothing – apparently a habit from her former life as a scavenger – but she also felt uncomfortable being in the way, so she was always glad to tag along when Poe asked her to. Seeing her gave the Resistance fighters more encouragement than he could ever give them with his cheerful words. They admired her and called her the last Jedi, even though she always contradicted it when she heard it.  
“I’m not a Jedi”, she would repeat patiently over and over again, but the only thing she accomplished was that people stopped using her nickname when she was around. They thought it was modesty which led her to say such things, but, as she had already explained to Poe several times, she really didn’t think of herself as a Jedi. She disagreed on too many subjects with the views of the old Jedi order. However, that did not stop her reputation from growing. She was their ray of light in a seemingly endless darkness; the reignited spark of hope.  
Apart from the dreaded nickname, Rey seemed to enjoy the company of the other Resistance fighters. It was usually very easy being around her with her straightforward nature.  
However, sometimes Poe caught her brooding, completely lost in thought, meditating over her broken lightsaber. Sometimes she excused herself out of nowhere and hurried away from them, as if she was running from something. Poe wondered about that strange behaviour, but he didn’t wonder too much. There were much more pressing matters on his mind.  
It was the fifth day aboard the Falcon when Poe went to see Finn for the first time since their hasty escape from Crait. Rey didn’t accompany him; she was once again lost in thought. Poe took one glance at her and turned backwards, without even bothering to disturb her. He really longed to see Finn in private, anyway.  
When he entered the little bunk where Rose was stationed, Finn turned his head slightly towards the door. As soon as he recognised Poe, he turned back towards the bed, where a still unconscious Rose seemed to be in a deep, peaceful slumber, had it not been for the countless machines that were connected to her body.  
Poe hesitated at the door, before he went to join his friend next to the bed.  
“Hey”, he said in a low voice, touching Finn’s shoulder softly. The silence stretched between them and Poe began to fear that his friend would continue to ignore him – Had he done something wrong? Was Finn mad that Poe had only come to visit him now? – until Finn sighed softly and leaned against him. All the strength seemed to have left his body.  
Poe felt the heat rise up in his face, but he urged his body to hold it together and shifted his attention to Finn’s lined face instead. Finn looked utterly exhausted. The circles under his eyes were so dark, they looked like Finn had applied them himself with a piece of coal.  
“When was the last time you got more than 3 hours of sleep?”, Poe asked calmly, still supporting Finns weight. Finn didn’t answer, he only shook his head. Poe tightened his grip on his shoulder.  
“You should go and get some sleep”, he urged his friend.  
“I’m sure we could find someone else to look after her for the time being.”  
“I can’t”, Finn replied. His voice broke and he coughed a little before he was able to continue. “She saved my life, Poe. She only got hurt, because I was too… stupid to listen to your orders. Because I thought the only way to win is by fighting what I hate. I just thought… if I… If she wakes up and I’m not… ” He broke off, finally meeting Poe’s eyes. Under his exhaustion, there was an expression much more unsettling.  
Finn seemed desperate, almost hopeless. Poe felt the urge to embrace him and hide him away, to protect him from that cruel world that had managed to extinguish the spark that had once lit up so brightly in Finn’s eyes. Although he tried to restrain himself, he couldn’t resist putting his arms around Finn.  
“It’s okay” he murmured into Finn’s shoulder. “Rey and I can watch her while you get some rest. You can stay here while getting some sleep, and if she wakes up we’ll wake you up right away. Sound good?”  
He almost surprised himself with the tone of his voice. Gone were the sass and the witticism, which he usually wore like armour. Poe found that he was simply unable to pretend in front of Finn. His friend seemed equally surprised by the soft, compassionate words of his companion, but the honesty of Poe’s steady gaze was what persuaded him to hesitantly agree to his friend’s offer.

When Rey arrived at the room, Finn was already sound asleep. He seemed more at peace than he had been ever since their escape and Poe seemed quite content with simply watching him in silence. Rey settled down next to him. They were quiet for a long time. Only after what seemed like hours did Poe notice movement at the corner of his eye. Rey had brought the bits and pieces of her lightsaber – Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber – with her and was playing half-heartedly with them.  
Poe recognised that strange look that often settled on Rey’s features, especially when she was holding the lightsaber. It seemed to be a mixture of sadness, longing, fury and guilt. Poe felt sympathy bloom in his chest. The former scavenger had only recently opened her heart and started to trust other people and make friends – and she already began to lose them again. He scooted around so that he was facing her, which was enough to draw her attention to him. Her questioning gaze met his.  
“I know how you feel”, he said in a low voice, gesturing to the broken lightsaber. Her eyes widened almost unnoticeable  
“You do?” she asked, her voice a bit higher than usual. She seemed… nervous.  
Poe was a bit bewildered but he still continued sympathetically: “Yeah. I know you miss him. It wasn’t your fault.”  
Rey grew pale. “How did you…”  
“Well, you keep carrying that lightsaber with you wherever you go”, Poe explained, now truly confused by her reactions. It wasn’t a crime to mourn the loss of a friend, was it?  
“It’s because you miss Luke Skywalker, isn’t it?”, he added, now a bit unsure of himself.  
Rey’s tense shoulders relaxed a bit. “Oh. Yeah. Of course.” Her gaze grew distant. “I do miss him”, she said softly, “Even though he behaved like a grumpy old man from time to time.”  
She chuckled and Poe felt a smile spread across his face as well. It was good to see her laugh again. She had a nice laugh, as Finn had already told him before. Again he wondered just why the heck he didn’t fall for her.  
Poe suddenly felt the strong urge to consult her about his difficult feelings towards the person sleeping just a few inches behind him. He needed someone to talk about it – and Rey did know Finn very well.  
“Hey Rey…”, he began slowly. She regarded him curiously, but let him take his time to gather his thoughts.  
“Do you… or rather… have you ever had… special feelings for someone?”  
Her face grew guarded. “Why do you ask?”  
Poe belatedly realised how strange his behaviour had to come across to her.  
“It’s not what you think”, he added hastily. “It’s just… I…” Once again, he was at a loss for words.  
Her clear voice cut through his tangled thoughts. “Yes, I had.” She paused to think for a moment then added slowly: “I guess I still have. It’s a bit strange.”  
Poe looked up, surprised. For a moment he forgot about his own problems as curiosity filled him.  
“Really? Who is it? Do I know him?” he asked teasingly. Rey bit her lip and avoided his gaze.  
“You do… and yet you don’t” she answered cryptically. Her shoulders slumped down. “I’m not even sure if I truly know him. He doesn’t seem to know himself, that’s for sure.”  
Poe opened his mouth to inquire further, but Rey stopped him with a gesture. “Never mind that now. Why do you ask?”  
That question efficiently drew his mind off the subject.  
“Well” he started again, “there is this person… whom is very special to me, I guess. And I was hoping you might be able to help me with what I’m supposed to do.”  
Rey looked a bit troubled. “I’m afraid I’m not the best help when it comes to relationships.”  
He chuckled a bit. “Rey, you’re probably a better judge of character than most of us.”  
She smiled bashfully. “I guess I can try to help you.”  
He grinned back. “Thanks. I owe you.”  
He took in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to admit to himself. “You see… the person I’m talking about is…” His eyes shifted involuntarily over to Finn’s sleeping form. Rey followed his gaze, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline.  
“Finn?” she mouthed at him. He nodded, feeling warmth spreading on his face. There. He’d admitted it. He waited, curious of Rey’s reaction. His friend, however, seemed to suddenly realise something.  
“Oh. _Oh _. You mean special feelings as in… being in love. I didn’t… I thought…” She now clearly regretted her earlier remarks but she shrugged it off pretty quickly.__  
Her eyes darted back to Finn. “So… you’re in love with…?” Poe simply nodded.  
“Does he know?” Rey asked him.  
Poe looked down. “I don’t think so. And even if he did…” He only has eyes for you and Rose, he thought but he didn’t say it out loud.  
“You should tell him.” Poe lifted his head, surprised. He caught her eyes. She seemed pretty serious.  
“We could die anytime, Poe. In fact, it’s somewhat of a miracle that we’re still alive. If something were to happen to one of you… would you be okay with him never knowing your true feelings?”  
He didn’t even hesitate a moment. The answer was as clear as day to him. “No. I would want him to know at least.”  
She smiled. “Well, then you have your answer.” She glanced behind him and that weird look he knew so well by now spread across her face. She started to rise from her seating position, but before she could vanish once again, Poe caught her wrist, suddenly remembering the conversation they’d had before it had been shifting to him and Finn.  
“Wait. What about your special person? Do they know?”  
“Know what?” Her gaze kept flickering to a spot somewhere behind him and Poe had to fight the urge to check if someone was standing behind him.  
“Your feelings towards them.”  
She shifted from one foot to another. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure what my feelings are exactly. I just know they’re… different. Weird.”  
Poe went right ahead. “Do you love them?”  
She seemed to choose her words very carefully. “I don’t know. How would you define love?”  
He smirked. “If you did love them, you’d know.”  
“I don’t know”, she repeated, mumbling, obviously eager to leave. She pulled her wrist out of his grip and started heading towards the door. Poe’s voice reached her right before she was walking out.  
“One last thing. What’s their name?”  
She shot a gaze behind him once again, then smiled playfully at him. “Ben” she said. “His name is Ben.”  
It took Poe a few moments to process what she had just told him.  
_Do I know him? - You do… and yet you don’t. ___  
_To be honest, I’m not quite sure what my feelings are exactly. I just know they’re… different. Weird. ___  
_Ben. His name is Ben. ___  
In mere seconds, he was up on his feet. “Wait, Rey…!”  
Of course she was long gone.  
She couldn’t be serious – could she?  
Poe ran his fingers through his hair, exasperated. No way. She had to be talking about someone else. He was about to run after her to make sure she wasn’t talking about who he thought she was – if it hadn’t been for the sleepy voice coming from behind him.  
“Poe? What’s the matter?”  
Poe turned back to see Finn rising from the heap of blankets on the floor next to Rose’s bed, rubbing his eyes.  
„Where‘s Rey? Did she leave already?“ “Yeah… yeah, she just left”, Poe replied, once again studying Finn’s face. Sleeping had been good for him – he looked a lot better and seemed to be in higher spirits as well. He wasn’t looking back at Poe, though; he was staring at the door frame as if he’d be able to see Rey if he just concentrated hard enough.  
“Why did she leave? I’ve been dying to talk to her. I haven’t seen her in days.”  
Poe felt a throbbing right beneath his left collarbone, but he was determined to ignore it.  
“She does that sometimes”, he answered dryly. “Just leaving, I mean. I thought that was normal for her.”  
Finn shrugged. “It’s the first time I’ve heard about it, but then again we haven’t spent a lot of time together when we weren’t running for our lives.”  
His eyes darted to Rose. “Anything?” he asked in a pleading voice.  
Another sting. Poe silently shook his head. Finn sighed.  
“The med-droids keep telling me to be patient, but…” He helplessly lifted his shoulders. “I just don’t want to take my eyes off her until I know she’s okay.” He smiled at Poe then.  
“Thank you for looking after her while I was sleeping. It means a lot.”  
Poe automatically returned the smile, even though it felt kind of forced. “Anytime, pal.”  
It was Finn’s turn to eye him. “You look very tired yourself, Poe. Shouldn’t you get some rest?”  
Poe shrugged nonchalantly. “I can’t seem to fall asleep in here anyway. Too many people cramped in a tight space. And also, my guts tell me that as soon as I close my eyes, something bad will happen. I’m a Commander. I need to be there when people need me.”  
“You also need sleep” Finn pointed out. “I can stay with you and wake you up when something comes up, if you want. If you don’t mind staying here” he added with a quick glance to Rose’s slight figure.  
Poe couldn’t trust his ears. Finn looking after him while he was sleeping? That sounded almost too good to be true.  
“Uh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea” he replied despite his thoughts. There was no way he’d be able to fall asleep if he knew Finn was watching him.  
“Alright then” Finn said, sounding a bit hurt. Poe immediately regretted his thoughtless answer.  
“I didn’t mean that…”  
Out of nowhere, a shrill ringing noise filled the Falcon and hasty footsteps moved past the hallway next to the room. Both looked up, alarmed.  
“Something is wrong”, Finn said. He hesitated for a second, again looking at Rose, before he seemed to make up his mind.  
“Come on. Let’s check what’s going on out there.”  
Poe was about to agree, but suddenly Rey’s words were ringing in his ears. If something were to happen to one of you… would you be okay with him never knowing your true feelings?  
Finn brushed past him and in that split second, Poe made his decision.  
“Wait”, he heard himself say, reaching out to Finn. He didn’t think. He just acted.  
And then, he was kissing Finn.  
The alarm stopped. Someone shouted: “False alarm, guys! Everything’s okay!” Relieved voices buzzed through the hallways.  
Poe didn’t notice any of it. All he could think about was Finn and his soft lips.  
Finn, Finn, always Finn.  
After what felt like an eternity and was yet way too short a time for Poe’s taste, they broke apart, simply staring at each other, gasping.  
Finally, Poe broke the silence. “I love you” he said softly.  
And Finn smiled. “I know.”


End file.
